Mom also loves experimenting with ingredients. We had this weird green leafy thingy growing in our garden and (not surprisingly) it was supposed to be healthy and good for you. Lo, mum goes ahead and makes pakoras out of that.


Now, mum's a good cook, so can be relied on to produce good results. This wasn't one of them times though. It did however prompt the brother to tell someone "My ma, you give her anything from unripe to rotten and she'll make something out of it".

Dad was given a beautiful tissue silk kurta and was wearing it for some occasion or the other. Mum saw him wearing it, in all its thin and transluscent glory and remarked "Tch, uLLagaDDI pari!" (Onion peel)

Battle Strategies

My mother has an odd sense of humour.

"Let's label the sugar jar as 'salt' so the ants get tricked and stay away"

Ladies and Gentlemen, my mother. Also known as 'Takes on Ants'.

no call

given that my maternal unit does not take the "have baby NOW" pressure off my head, we got into an argument last week. it all started with me telling her that it's been a year she visited me, so she should plan her astro classes according to when she may want to visit.

the argument got heated and she said something like "now call me when you're pregnant"

after that, life happened, and i forgot to make the routine bi-weekly call...

this morning, ma called me and says "i thought you're really not going to call till you're pregnant"

More baby talk

Cousin A had a baby a few months ago and we were visiting them, the new arrival having pulled us some distance across the country – I had my aunt-ly duties to do after all.

Mom was being her usual self, which is to say, being great with babies. She sings to them, plays with them, puts them to sleep ... heck, she's the Baby-Whisperer, uncontested.

It just so happened that she forgot a few words while singing one rather well-remembered song and I teased her saying "Mum, you're out of practice."

Pat came the reply, "You should have one soon therefore!"

When it comes to mothers, the only way you can quit while ahead is to not say anything at all. Hmpfh.

instant baby?

my mother's taking astrology classes.

here's an example of why nobody's mother should take these.

telephone call home.

me: so how's your class going?

*yes, i am stupid that way. i ask such questions*

mom: oh, i had to tell you. i was studying your and Vs horoscope.

me: ok.

mom: and you should have a baby by Feb 2011.

me: huh? what?

mom: yes. you should. i don't know what you're waiting for. all the stars are aligned. you should have a baby by feb 2011. otherwise, you may have to wait 6 months.

me: i'll wait.

mom: for what?! why can't you have one by Feb. It's good for the baby also.

me: erm... it's jan now. i CANNOT have a baby in a month.

S.I.G.H.

Awkward

Teen me. Sex-ed at school.
Let me start again.
Naive, prude, teen me. Sex-ed at school.

I come home schocked and disgusted to know what a condom is. While I am doing 'shee', 'yuck', 'thoo' at the concept, a worried mother tries to explain me safe sex and its importance.

Amma: Condom plays a vital role in preventing pregnancy and diseases
Me: What if somebody does it just once without it, and escape both pregnancy and diseases?

I expected something like 'Its unlikely/its too risky', etc along the same line, but what I heard bowled me over

Amma: You never do 'it' once and stop. You do it once, you'll wanna keep doing it again and again :|

Yes ma'am. Point taken. Hail condom. I am never discussing anything again with you. Anything.